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Grounding – Rituals of the Garden

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Grounding is a ritual which calms the spirit allowing one to be present in the moment.

Grounding is an act of connecting with the earth for many people who garden. This is a ritual I have practiced for years. I was introduced to the act of grounding, while living in Fredericksburg, Virginia. Much needed peace and healing , was discovered in my garden, with a bit of advice from Miss Maude. My world was changing, and I needed sage advice. An older gardener I knew, Miss Maude, befriended me at a Central Rappahannock Master Gardener event. A fast friendship developed and she shared a secret with me.

One day Miss Maude could sense my unsettled spirit. Holding my hands, she offered words of wisdom andadvice. “Teri, I want you to try something. When you feel unbalanced, unsure, or sad, go into your garden. Take off your shoes, allowing your feet to have direct contact with the soil. Stand still, empty your mind, and be open to receiving positive thoughts. Notice the feeling of the earth beneath your feet. Allow yourself to be present in the moment. Do this in the morning, to see how you feel.” Little did I know, the art of grounding would change my life.

Honestly, I assumed Miss Maude was having a moment. I am certain that most people have a seasoned person in their life who offers a bit of advice. Sometimes this advice might seem a little cutting edge or unrealistic. We often use the advice as a tool to say – ok…old wives tale. I am not sure why Miss Maude’s words seemed different on this particular day.

Contemplation Corner was what I called an area in my Virginia garden where I had privacy and found peace. Every morning after putting my daughters on the bus, I wandered to this sacred space and began my grounding ritual. I stood under the large overhanging oak tree and took my shoes off. My non-judgmental audience consisted of the emerging Hosta, Begonias, and Epimedium, quietly watching this act of being in the moment. The release of inner doubt and anxiety disappeared. Miss Maude had prescribed a dose of wisdom from the ancestors.

She explained this was a common ritual amongst farmers and gardeners back in the days of her youth. The Elders would use this practice to stay connected with the land, to pray for a successful garden, and to calm their inner spirit. It is a way of being present with the earth. Grounding helps with self-awareness and a balanced approach to life – with many ups and downs.

My experience with grounding has been life-altering. Now I live and garden in Maryland. It was important for me to create a space specifically for a grounding ritual in my garden. Choosing a spot near my beloved Camellias, seemed to be the perfect place for this intentional ritual. In the summer, I often find a quiet, off the beaten path beach. Strolling on the sand allows me to feel the coolness between my toes and under the soles of my feet. In the winter, I merely place my hands on the earth. This ritual helps me weather any storm that blows my way. There is always somewhere to subject my hands on bare earth or to touch a grassy spot. Embracing the art of grounding, allows me to receive the day with an open mind. Accepting the newness of each moment is a gift.

Is grounding a common ritual in your garden? I encourage every Gardener to create a sacred space, in a quiet area of the garden, bare the soles of your feet (or your hands), and be present in the moment. If you aren’t a gardener, consider the art of grounding. It just might becme a ritual in your life.

Perhaps a moment of grounding by each of us can un-tilt this tilted world.

Miss Maude is one who I miss dearly. Sitting in her garden, soaking up the wisdom she imparted with every visit. I cherish the gift she unknowingly shared at a vvery imprtant time oin my life. The powerful gift of grounding continues to be a part of my life.

Grounding with intention, as I anticipate our next season.

Teri, Cottage in the Court

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Flower Petals – Cards of Positivity and Perspective

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Flower petals share their wisdom, if we take time to embrace their beauty.

Flower petals have been popping out in my world all year. Taking the time to enjoy them has been quite the task. I had to intentionally practice self-care at each and every opportunity.

I sought books to read for inner peace, curtailed my social media, and simply rested. Recovery after two years of unintentional pausing, writing books, and working fulltime was not an easy task. Realizing I needed to update The Cottage also became a reality. Working remotely allowed me to see every crack and wrinkle in my home. Upgrades were scheduled which would not allow me to embrace my back yard gardens. I had every intention of creating a micro-cut flower farm. Instead, the contractors waned me to remove plantings along the foundation. The thought of change in my garden was unsettling. In some ways more than the period of unintentional pausing. The search for inner peace as I accepted change was challenging.

As I looked out my window daily, mourning my garden was simply heartbreaking. Flower petals from the Camellias lay like confetti as the winter of 2022 ended. I eagerly awaited the Hellebore flowers on the side of my house. I knew I would have to move them for fear they would be in the way. The Hellebores are remnants of my father’s garden.

Knowing the brevity of Spring, everyday I checked for signs of flowers in my garden. From the early blooming crocus, phlox, to the daffodils, I patiently waited for the sequence of early Spring joy. Each flower petal meant more to me this year than ever before.

As many gardeners know, renovating the garden when you least expect it is a daunting task. The realization that change was destined to take place was difficult. Adulting is hard in many ways. Procrastinating made it difficult to endure, so I began to dig. I potted up all that I could as the flowers from the azaleas littered the ground to remind me that Spring was coming to an end.

Flower petals scattered from the Oso Easy roses allowed me to smile through my tears. Mourning change at The Cottage, the new windows did allow me to see the garden a tad clearer. Next up – the siding.

Older Cottage life is interesting. The Cottage is as seasoned as I am. Sometimes the floors creak, other times another sign of settling appears, yet life goes on. The siding was definitely showing it’s age. It became evident a simple paint job wasn’t going to cut it. I would have preferred to buy more flowers and plants – that was not in the cards for 2022.

To soothe my angst, I found Flower Petals: Blossoming guidance from the garden by Cheralyn Darcey on Etsy. These cards are the perfect small gift . The flower petals of thought are important even today. This period of unintentional change continues as the year draws to a close. The first card I flipped over was a picture of Violet sororia. The words were exactly what I needed to read:

The answers and truths are always within.

I chose to embrace these words and let my disappointment and angst go. Releasing is real and many times we can miss the gift, by holding onto what we cannot change. Since receiving these cards, I make time to pull a new one from the deck, just to keep me in a positive frame of mind.

Today’s card is a Tulip. The words read…

You are worth what it is you desire.

The box suggests using multiple cards sometimes or using them while enjoying aromatherapy. They are great for enhancing positive thoughts, which leads to a sense of well being.

It is October and the renovation is still in full swing. The garden is in a state of unintentional pausing. It is nesting season – yet again. I have this quiet time to look within and define exactly how I want my garden. I can prepare the soil with earthly goodness from local compost. Exploring what is new in the plant world and taking note of what might be Cottage worthy will make me smile. Watching the birds from my new office window, draped with a blanket over my feet, and Precious by my side is worth looking forward to.

As the world continues to move too fast, my daily practice will be simple. I will flip a card from Flower Petals: Blossoming guidance from the garden, as an act of self-care.

Does your garden provide optimism in less than perfect moments? What tools have you discovered during this period of uncertainty, that help re-center your spirit? Change – even when difficult – can be a good thing . It all depends on your perspective.

Flower petals as a part of the garden in our minds provide lingering thoughts of what has been. These flower petals helped me embrace change.

Sitting with Precious and watching the mailbox for catalogs. I wonder what tomorrow’s card will be.

Teri, Cottage in the Court

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Life and The Seeds Sown Within

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Life is like a perennial garden. Often the seeds that are sown within enhance our very existence.

When I go into my garden, the realization of how plants imitate life is evident no matter where I look. The seeds which fall along the way and multiply, simply enhance what I consider my world. As I spoke with a friend recently, we were in agreement on a few observances in our life gardens.

Life is shorter than we ever thought, just like the seasons. We agreed, when we were younger, the seasons seemed to last forever. Now they whisk by with barely enough time to really enjoy the moments found within. Especially now. With the uncertainty of the next moment, the opportunity to just be in the moment is more important than ever.

Some people are like Mountain mint. A plant that attracts beneficial insects to the garden and repels a few that we do not want -such as mosquitos.

We spoke of the friends who we missed. Our friend Bob, who was like Pycnanthemum (Mountain Mint) in our world. You see, Bob had his hands in just about everything. Feeding knowledge to the younger folks who would listen and positive ideas to standard practices. He is a seed that we sorely miss, yet the roots he sunk deep into our workplace soil remain and grow.

There are friends who are like the seeds of the Cleome, scattering and making a difference to all who know them.
(Image by Anna Armbrust from Pixabay)

Mary was like the Spider Flower (Cleome). The seeds, which are quite minute, of this beautiful garden addition, truly speak to the nature of our friend. Although short in stature, Mary blooms eternally to many of us. If you are not familiar with the Cleome, this self-seeding annual brings life to the garden. It attracts hummingbirds and butterflies creating quite the show as they dance and hover above the blooms. Mary was always ready to dance, bringing joy to all who knew her.

I cannot forget the lesson of conversation. Yes, the art of simple conversation should be considered a seed as well. We reminisced about how we were raised. Sharing the joys of having a conversation with my Mom every day after school sowed the seed of how important human connections are – whether near or far. Mom chatted with each of us about our day and current events. We had the opportunity to respectfully speak our minds. I am certain that whatever we shared with her, were seeds as well. Our opinions helped Mom figure out how to fertilize each of us to help us grow. My sister, brothers, and I each had different requirements which helped us become the adults we are today. The seeds of conversation were enhanced each evening as we had family dinner together when Dad came home.

As seasons change, gardeners clean up the garden beds to prepare for the next season. We had to clean up from playing outside, so Dad could see his children happy and smelling quite fresh when he arrived home. At the dinner table, he sowed seeds of knowledge into our lives, whether we paid attention or not. At the time, we were hungry for whatever Mom cooked for dinner that day. We did not realize that Dad was sowing seeds of wisdom into our mental garden plots of life.

In these uncertain times, are we sowing seeds of positivity in the life gardens of these we encounter? It is important that we seize the moments we have to plant perennial or self-sowing seeds of positivity everywhere we go. The lingering effects of properly sown seeds can make a difference in the life gardens of those around us. Make time to have dinner with those you love to share memories with. Make your life a fertile bed that will grow seeds or roots of positivity to share with those around you.

If we take the time now to make sure we are sowing seeds that will linger along the way, the world will ultimately become a better place.

Off to be the seed in the life gardens of those that I love.

Teri, Cottage In The Court

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Paris Tours – A Black Paris Perspective

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Paris Tours should always include a walk by of the Eiffel Tower. …it’s a part of Paris you cannot ignore.

I am not sure why this is showing up on my website today. Perhaps because in a different year,  I would be practicing my poor efforts at saying most things in French. There would be a suitcase, portable duffle, and a backpack, waiting for the yearly trek.  The array of cute flat shoes (no tennis shoes) to choose from on the guest bedroom floor. A small jar of moisturizer, small toothpaste, and contact lenses were the standard toiletries waiting to be packed. Everything else I needed, I would purchase in Paris.

Over the weekend, while purging papers, I happened upon some postcards…from Paris of course. A tear dropped and I refused to wipe i t away. One by one tears fell as I flipped through my short stack of memories. The Eiffel Tower in blue, the steps by Sacre Coeur in the snow, a perfect table setting with a view, fountains at the Tuileries, and Paris at night. 

These were not tears of sadness, but quite the opposite. I cherish the memories  of the Paris excursions. The friends I have made, my fantasy conversations with Claude (you know Monet), and wandering just for the adventure of it. I recollect my glee as I have flashbacks of the gardens I planned to see, as well as those I happened upon. My journey, my version of Paris and the anticipation of my August #refreshresetrestore, has been delayed this year. Not cancelled, simply postponed. 

One thing I have promised myself during this time of unintentional  pausing, I will always be good to myself. I will not deny myself of anything that will create a positive memory. There will be times when I have dessert for dinner and dinner for breakfast. Staying hydrated will be my mantra…from water to wine. As my big brother Jimmy  often reminds me, we are all adults now, just be YOU. So I reminisce about the things that bring  me joy. 

As we continue on this never ending road of unintentional pausing and encounter the intersection of what’s next, look back. Find the pictures, wear the trinkets, check your passport, for this too shall pass. BY 2022…we might be able to travel again. 

In the meantime…here is a memory that wants to be re-visited today…so it just keeps showing up.

During the Christmas Holiday of 2016, I wanted to take advantage of the  different tours offered in Paris. It was the perfect opportunity to partake in the Black Paris Tours.

Arranging the Black Paris Tour was quite easy. There are two options – a  half day tour and a full day tour. If  you want the adventure of a daylong immersion in the Black Paris perspective choose the full day, which includes dinner in Little Africa. I had no  idea of what to expect…however I was onboard for the journey.

The day started out at a wonderful restaurant with up close and personal views of the Arc de Triomphe. Breathtaking does not describe  how awesome this was and we were just getting started. Warm croissants, coffee, tea, and conversations with the other tour members was the icebreaker. Our guide informed us on how the tour would take us from foot to bus to Metro. We were all ears and ready to bundle up and get started with our day.

Starting our Black Paris Tour with Miguel , Our Guide on the Black Paris Tour.

Miguel Overton Guerra, Black Paris Tours, shared little known facts about the African American’s presence in the military history of France. The story of the Harlem Hell Fighters was amazing!We also discovered how this wonderful obelisk traveled across the waters as a gift to France.It was challenging seizing the opportunity of seeing this up close. We had to stick very close together as we navigated the cars and buses. Getting through traffic requires one to be very alert, attentive and aware!

Our guide Miguel escorted us to the Church which hosted the funeral of Josephine Baker. Madeleine Church was undergoing exterior renovations at the time of our visit. Knowing that I stood on the steps where many paid their respects to this woman of color who persisted, despite the odds, was amazing! While exterior work was being performed, the interior views were not the best. What I did capture was simply amazing. 

Interior of Madeleine Church were the ceremony of life was held for Josephine Baker.

One thing I must mention, the Madeleine Church has always welcomed a diverse congregation and still does today. Merci to the ministry of this beautiful Church.

Miguel ushered the group onto a bus and we traveled to visit with the monuments honoring Alexandre Dumas.  All along the way our guide pointed out other points of interest to explore on our own. Arriving in the neighborhood where the Dumas family called home was quite a treat.  Knowing that this Haitian man has left memorable literature of note to readers all around the globe is just amazing.

Miguel shared the story of the area where The Dumas family lived.

The statue was amazing.

The statue of Alexandre Dumas…

Then …we looked closer at the monument of this well-known author of the times…as well as today…Upon closer inspection one can see one of the Three Musketeers.  Imagining that a man of Color wrote one of the well-known classics is simply amazing.

Art in the park near the statue of Alexandre Dumas that speaks to the breaking of the chains of slavery ..simply awesome!

One of the last stops before dining was at Parc Monceau.

Aren’t these gilded gates magnificent!! Oh the gilded gates that welcomed many African-Americans and even housed an author of note in the maids chambers.

Yes it was cold, but a beautiful time had by all. Nothing like feeding the mind as well as the soul when traveling….

We left Parc Monceau after hearing many stories of how this was a well visited place for African-Americans in the Arts. We headed further into an area kniwn as Little Africa.  Admiring the beauty of this Parc in the midst of winter, I can see how it’s beauty captured the hearts of its visitors. In Little Africa, we dined in community with others from Senegal and I must say the food was divine.  The defining touch was the hibiscus tea…..delightful! Out of the respect for the restaurateur, we did not take photo’s. If you want a fantastic meal in an authentic restaurant, go to Little Africa or better yet, take the full day tour with Black Paris Tours.

Considering traveling to Paris, partake in the Black Paris Tours.  I guarantee that you will find out some interesting things you might not know about. Henry O. Tanner knew about the awakening that Paris provides and has provided throughout history to people of Color.

Thank you Ricki Stevenson for providing such great information on African-American milestones in Parisian history.

Memories as I am missing prepping for my August #reset…

Teri, Cottage In The Court

Click here for more on Black Paris Tours

I wonder what Paris is like today…and if it misses me, as much as I miss her…
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Then What for The Garden…

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From one season to the next, while we wait for the next bloom, we often wonder…then what?

Then what? A message that has been planted in my mental garden. Message’s are sent to enlighten, advise and to share knowledge. Sometimes we are sent messages to make us think. If you listen carefully, the garden sends us message’s that we might miss if we are simply too busy.

As I become more seasoned, I listen to my garden and listen carefully to the messages of gardens I visit as well. Quiet time spent mentally communicating with the garden leaves me full and rejuvenated.

Neighbors and Friends…

Last Fall, my neighbor George informed me that John had passed away. They were not just neighbors, but brothers in law. The three of us were friends. If you saw one, you saw the other …or the other one was not far behind. Both of these gentlemen are gardeners. I was honored when they came across the cul de sac and asked me to identify a plant. I walked over and handled the task at hand and they both grinned from ear to ear. George shared that they discussed whether I could identify it or not. I am so glad I did not disappoint them. They understood the message my garden across the cul de sac shared. They often watched in wonderment as I planted flower after flower.

All flowers and no lawn signals that I want to be surrounded by beauty and enjoy my garden each and every day. I plant closely so that weeding is kept to a minimum, use mostly perennials and seed the areas where I want unexpected flashes of color. I have no need for a manicured suburban lawn. George and John’s lawn’s are perfect. Especially from where I can see them…from the sidewalk.

As I walk by John’s place daily, it is almost as if he will be out in a minute. The buckets are still strategically placed for gathering weeds, and the mulch bags lay in place, ready to be slit and spread. Some mornings I convince myself the John will be deadheading the Iris’s and strategically moving the yellowing daffodil foliage later in the day.

A bench sits empty on the shady side of the house. Perfectly positioned to sit and pause on the hottest of days. John would welcome me to chat and discuss all things gardening, of course. John’s garden, with what appears to be a fishing pole leaning against the lamp post, appears to be silent. Although, the message I hear is, “Who will take care of us? ” What a meaningful message from a well loved garden.

Uncle Shorty…

Let there be collards…and a lot of them!

“How many plant’s did you grow?” he asked. “I think I have 12 or so”, I answered. Uncle Shorty in his own way said “That’s all you grew? I am gonna need more than that.” So I started more collard seeds (even though I grow more than collards) because Uncle Shorty needed more collards. Mostly because he was my very “Real, OG” Uncle, I grew a whole packet of collards. I was going to show him that he would eat those words.

I knew Uncle Shorty was quite ill. All of us assumed we would have more time to listen to his wise words, extreme logic, as well as discuss current events…HIS way. Uncle Shorty had raised beds built last summer to accommodate a substantial crop of assorted greens. Not kale, no tomato’s…just collards.

My Uncle Delman, the last sibling, shared a moving eulogy at the funeral. He shared a message that applied to life…and the garden. A eulogy that asked a question which is now always on my mind. The words from Uncle Del planted deep thoughts in my mind.

Then What?

Then what about the garden…

A question – “Then What?” – was the title of the eulogy. As I age, this has crossed my mind on occasion. We select, install, coddle and adore the gardens we create. After all is said and done, then what? Our gardens are personal, in a sense. It is our tastes that matters – rarely anyone else’s. The gardens we curate and maintain reflect a personal version of what we consider beautiful. If we do not love and care for them…then what?

We debate on buying that expensive tree. Justifying another hydrangea comes easy. 20 just might not be enough, 21 is better. If we don’t stay on top of watering and things wilt while we vacation, then what? Not feeling like consistently maintaining the “perfect” garden, then what? If you can never just sit and enjoy the beauty of the garden, in the early morn or in the still of the evening…then what? Is it a garden, more work, or is it just something else to do?

Make time to listen to the messages that your garden is sending you. At the end of the day, if it brings you joy, buy that expensive tree. Purchase all the annuals you want, take that trip to the far off garden, and eat gelato for breakfast (so good first thing in the morning in the summer with melon). When is the perfect day, the right time or that special moment? The garden, just like life is ever evolving. There will always be a weed to pull, a limb to prune or a perennial to divide. If we choose to do everything right now, we are missing the message from the garden.

Listen to the message from your garden. If you do not make the time to listen now…THEN WHAT?

I am going to wallow in the midst of my hydrangea blooms til I figure out my Then What?

Make time this month to pause and listen to what your garden is saying…

From My Heart…Teri, Cottage In The Court

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