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Love and Loss in the Garden

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Love and loss in the garden is inevitable. Many times it is just like losing a dear friend.

Just like life, at some point we suffer from the loss of something we love. In the garden, we learn this from the unexpected loss of a plant, shrub, or even a cherished tree. As the garden evolves, there are some things which we must accept and release.

The cottage came with a majestic red oak tree. It was a presence that anchored the front yard, provided nutrients for wildlife and offered a buffer from the sun for my partial shade garden. My dear friend has been removed. You have no idea of how hard it is to write that sentence. The tree gave me a sense of security and semi-privacy. It brought me joy, as I collected the leaves each fall to decorate my table. Love meant caring for the tree. I called in arborists to look at the branches, the roots and more. Maintaining the health of my dear friend was important.

The leaves hung on into January each year. This provided a blanket for the plants and beneficial insects in my garden. The joy I found as I gently moved leaves away from the crown of plants, only to see a bug or a worm hurrying to go deeper to escape the chill of winter. Just to be sure, I would find myself adding a few more leaves, just to be sure these overwintering guests were safe and sound.

Keeping the Peace

So glad I said my goodbyes before I left town. It is hard to see my dear friend like this.

Everyone does not appreciate leaves or large aging tree. Some view leaves as a nuisance or more more thing to do in the fall. If a twig fell, some neighbors would suggest I cut my tree down. Yet every spring it would flush out in leaf. The canopy offered a bit of shade in the heat of the day. My red oak knew my garden needed refuge from the strong sun. Mother nature is a good mother. Mother nature has a way of taking care of her trees. She teaches them to self-clean…and they obey.

To keep the peace, I had branches trimmed that overhung my property line. This disfigured the tree. Many tree care professionals advised against this. In my efforts to be a good neighbor, the tree began to show signs of distress. One day, my beautiful friend had enough. Upon returning home, a large chunk was on my walkway. The time had come – unexpectedly for me to say good-bye. Making the call to find someone who could take care of the process was not easy. Today I look at the five foot, eight inch stump. Working around it is not a possibility. This breaks my heart.

My Dad would say, “Teres, joy comes in the morning.” I was not home on purpose to see the removal of my friend. I did not want to face this loss in person, waiting for the morning was going to be difficult. As Dad promised, I took a good look one day at the crack of dawn to accept the reality of my new full sun garden.

Adapting to Change

Love and loss occurs in life. Adapting and accepting often takes awhile.

Change is inevitable in life, just as in the garden. The hydrangeas, rescued from my parents garden will require a new home. The perennials, Phlox sublata, Epimedium, Hellebore, native ferns, and Astible will require a sheltered area. Reimagining the space will evolve over time and in tune with the seasons. The calming effect each plant had in this space as it led to the side shade garden is no more.

Love and loss in the garden is inevitable. Reimagining the possibilities of a full sun border has slowly dried my tears. A row of narrow evergreen shrubbery will serve as a buffer. It will add privacy and a living hug for the plants included in the transformation. Integrating native plants with the perennials in a full sun setting, is something t consider. A pollinator garden that will feed any of nature’s willing workers from birds, to bees, and moths. Dreaming of including a cut flower garden with dahlia’s, sunflowers and cosmos is beginning to make me smile.

The Lesson

Life teaches us that things change. It does not matter if we want them to or not. It is time for me to release my friend, make the call for the stump and move on. I want to save the remains from the stump and incorporate them in my garden . Along the pathways, in my hügelkultur space, anywhere I can. It is my way of keeping my friend around a little longer and returning her to the earth, my way.

Sitting here looking at my garden in a new light.

Teri, Cottage in the Court

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Flower Petals – Cards of Positivity and Perspective

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Flower petals share their wisdom, if we take time to embrace their beauty.

Flower petals have been popping out in my world all year. Taking the time to enjoy them has been quite the task. I had to intentionally practice self-care at each and every opportunity.

I sought books to read for inner peace, curtailed my social media, and simply rested. Recovery after two years of unintentional pausing, writing books, and working fulltime was not an easy task. Realizing I needed to update The Cottage also became a reality. Working remotely allowed me to see every crack and wrinkle in my home. Upgrades were scheduled which would not allow me to embrace my back yard gardens. I had every intention of creating a micro-cut flower farm. Instead, the contractors waned me to remove plantings along the foundation. The thought of change in my garden was unsettling. In some ways more than the period of unintentional pausing. The search for inner peace as I accepted change was challenging.

As I looked out my window daily, mourning my garden was simply heartbreaking. Flower petals from the Camellias lay like confetti as the winter of 2022 ended. I eagerly awaited the Hellebore flowers on the side of my house. I knew I would have to move them for fear they would be in the way. The Hellebores are remnants of my father’s garden.

Knowing the brevity of Spring, everyday I checked for signs of flowers in my garden. From the early blooming crocus, phlox, to the daffodils, I patiently waited for the sequence of early Spring joy. Each flower petal meant more to me this year than ever before.

As many gardeners know, renovating the garden when you least expect it is a daunting task. The realization that change was destined to take place was difficult. Adulting is hard in many ways. Procrastinating made it difficult to endure, so I began to dig. I potted up all that I could as the flowers from the azaleas littered the ground to remind me that Spring was coming to an end.

Flower petals scattered from the Oso Easy roses allowed me to smile through my tears. Mourning change at The Cottage, the new windows did allow me to see the garden a tad clearer. Next up – the siding.

Older Cottage life is interesting. The Cottage is as seasoned as I am. Sometimes the floors creak, other times another sign of settling appears, yet life goes on. The siding was definitely showing it’s age. It became evident a simple paint job wasn’t going to cut it. I would have preferred to buy more flowers and plants – that was not in the cards for 2022.

To soothe my angst, I found Flower Petals: Blossoming guidance from the garden by Cheralyn Darcey on Etsy. These cards are the perfect small gift . The flower petals of thought are important even today. This period of unintentional change continues as the year draws to a close. The first card I flipped over was a picture of Violet sororia. The words were exactly what I needed to read:

The answers and truths are always within.

I chose to embrace these words and let my disappointment and angst go. Releasing is real and many times we can miss the gift, by holding onto what we cannot change. Since receiving these cards, I make time to pull a new one from the deck, just to keep me in a positive frame of mind.

Today’s card is a Tulip. The words read…

You are worth what it is you desire.

The box suggests using multiple cards sometimes or using them while enjoying aromatherapy. They are great for enhancing positive thoughts, which leads to a sense of well being.

It is October and the renovation is still in full swing. The garden is in a state of unintentional pausing. It is nesting season – yet again. I have this quiet time to look within and define exactly how I want my garden. I can prepare the soil with earthly goodness from local compost. Exploring what is new in the plant world and taking note of what might be Cottage worthy will make me smile. Watching the birds from my new office window, draped with a blanket over my feet, and Precious by my side is worth looking forward to.

As the world continues to move too fast, my daily practice will be simple. I will flip a card from Flower Petals: Blossoming guidance from the garden, as an act of self-care.

Does your garden provide optimism in less than perfect moments? What tools have you discovered during this period of uncertainty, that help re-center your spirit? Change – even when difficult – can be a good thing . It all depends on your perspective.

Flower petals as a part of the garden in our minds provide lingering thoughts of what has been. These flower petals helped me embrace change.

Sitting with Precious and watching the mailbox for catalogs. I wonder what tomorrow’s card will be.

Teri, Cottage in the Court

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Gardening In Community – A Greener World

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Gardening has increased in recent years. As we embrace our earth, there are many different perspectives to consider. The Healthy Garden – Simple Steps For A Greener World is a book that many have been waiting for.

Gardening within a community is a common practice nowadays. Community gardening has become quite a loaded phrase. It can mean collaborating with others who garden or physically gardening in the community. Gathering to learn more about gardening is a way to connect with other gardeners.

The Healthy Garden: Simple Steps for a Greener World has touched upon these and other ways to garden in the community. A greener world is something many people, gardeners or non-gardeners desire. Mary-Kate Mackey and Kathleen Norris Brenzel provide diverse perspectives on how we can achieve this goal. As I read this wonderful book, the conversations presented truly gave me hope.

Design, selecting plants, and the wellness benefits of gardening, are discussed in the first few chapters. Offering tips from some well-known horticultural voices, this book gently breaks down the definition of a healthy garden. Embrace your place, frame a view, forever and for now – each of these topics are defined, giving gardeners permission to garden uniquely.

Answering the question of why grow your own food is answered in this book. Knowing where your food is sourced is important. Growing what you consume is a great way to stay engaged with a vegetable plot or pot. It is a fantastic way to explore other cultures and growing methods. Making a small investment for a pack of seeds can provide unimaginable amounts of produce to share. Having a good mix of vegetables, herbs, and flowers to provide for our pollinators is key. From foodscaping to what size pots you will need – this book is quite the resource.

Exercise is all a part of gardening. Stretching underused muscles and constant motion all help keep our bodies in shape. Mental clarity is a bonus benefit. Imagine spending an afternoon gazing at a butterfly or hummingbird. The joy of pausing to discover the simple serenity of the garden is almost like medicine. Making time to pause in the garden is the perfect way to find balance in life. A garden is a useful tool for healing.

This book gives the reader permission to engage with the earth, as they see fit. Permission to enjoy what you have or to borrow from examples in other gardens. Who wouldn’t want to feel good about changing a landscape as you see fit? Utilizing the plant ladder concept in your garden offers a heightened awareness of the beauty found in layers. No matter where you are planting, multi-level plantings encourage the eye to look up and down. The higher plants become the focal point as they utilize groundcovers to create a living much.

Let’s talk about critical, touchy viewpoints – growing native plants. From the benefits to the drawbacks, growing with an emphasis on diversity is key to a greener, healthy garden.  No matter what part of the country, no matter what your climate is (this year), this book has digestible information. These authors interviewed over sixty horticulturists. The information shared provides a buffet of perspectives and immeasurable knowledge.

Every seasoned gardener knows that creating spaces and laces to pause is an essential part of enjoying the garden. A single chair placed near a specific plant is an act of gardening with intention. It allows the gardener to pause and rest. It is a perfect example of how pausing is as essential as weeding. Actually, pausing to appreciate the art of gardening allows us to connect with nature in our familiar greenspaces. Taking time to enjoy and not just work in our green spaces, enables us to enjoy calm, serenity, and peace.

Community gardens are great places to find like-minded neighbors. Green spaces where neighbors can gather provide opportunities to hone great gardening skills. By participating in community gardens, there is magic in what is shared. The obvious successes as produce is shared and enjoyed by all, take precedence over the failures. The conversations enjoyed in these spaces often lead to lifelong relationships as they build strong communities.

In my local community garden, we are growing together. We gather for plot-to-plate events where we share the items we grow. Gathering in community gardens provides fertile ground for sharing recipes or offering up canning advice. Gardening in the community is a way to experiment with unfamiliar foods and flowers. Listening to the elders, experimenting with the youth, and staying abreast of the latest trends, keeps the conversations exciting and engaging – no matter the perspective or experience.

This book is a gift for all types of gardeners. The words ring true as each segment of this book offers digestible bites of perspectives on a healthy garden and greener world. As the heat of the summer sun suggests we linger longer in the shade, this is a perfect book to have on hand.

Did I mention, that you just might find someone you know on page 178? There are a few books that single out one topic. By looking at the topics that matter to most gardeners, these ladies offer a fresh perspective. I am glad these authors knew this book was necessary. Gardeners young and old want useful information. Finding the words to create a plan of action for gardeners everywhere is right on time.

I am working on unique ways to use what I grow in my community garden and sharing it with my plot partners. If you want a book filled with useful ideas, consider adding this book to your library.

Teri, Cottage in the Court

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Memories and Magic at Cottage in the Court

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Memories of pink and blue hydrangeas found in Grandma’s living room were expected each year. However never a pink peony. This year a pink peony provides memories of Grandma.

Memories of my Grandma with a song on her heart have been with me all week. There are memories everywhere in my garden. Each spring, as the earth gives way to plants coming to life, I think back to my childhood. This is the week that I would rather have been outside in the garden. Lying motionless, head to the ground, quietly waiting for a worm to cross my path. Pursing my lips, gently attempting to blow it over, the worms became quite started. Wriggling quickly for cover, this game would have gone on for hours. Instead, Mom would call me indoors to rehearse my lines for the Easter program at Church.

We could walk to Grandma’s house on Capitol Hill after Church. With the smaller yards along the way, enjoying the diversity found in each garden was exciting. I wanted to linger at each and every yard we passed. My Grandpa insisted I keep up, so I did. However, the memories of the colors and textures lingered on my mind. Grandpa knew my parents would be waiting at the house. My parents were very protective of us and we were barely out of their reach.   

Easter Sunday there was usually a colorful Hydrangea in the windowsill at the house on 7th Street where they lived. Memories of the purples, pinks, and muted tones of these small shrubs, added a bright spot to the dimly lit living room. It was something I looked forward to every year. I often wondered what she did with them afterwards. Now I will never know.

This week, I marveled at my garden. As I walked past the Camellia’s with their bright red blooms, I heard a familiar voice. She sang in the church choir and rehearsing prior to an event was important. The song, “He Lives”, an old spiritual was a part of every Easter Sunday Service. I imagined Grandma was walking beside me, as I created my daily memory of the garden in the morning. As we strolled, arms locked together, her voice was quite clear and very real.

Memories of Daddy’s white special occasion suit brought a smile to my lips when I saw this peony in my garden.

At a moment when I had no time to spare, the magic found in my garden stopped me in my tracks. On another evening this week, I was caught off guard by a flash of color. My Dad had a white suit that he traditionally wore on Easter Sunday when he had to preach. The fabric was textured, not pin-cord or seersucker, but almost ridge-like. The ruffled, ridged petals of a peony made me freeze.

It was at that moment I heard the booming but mellow voice of my Dad, breaking into song, his song. “Blessed Assurance” was a song that Dad sang or hummed when he was feeling downright blessed. This white, bigger than life, crinkled petal peony – which should not be blooming right now – came to life before my eyes. It was as if the deeply colored center was a microphone and Dad’s voice filled the air around me. I was emotionally full. Grandma never saw my garden. Dad had the pleasure of seeing it and walking through it quite a few times….even now, in spirit. The memories, beautiful memories fill my soul.

I believe in my ancestral connections. The memories my Dad shared with me about North Carolina and gardening with his grandparents are etched in my mind. In my heart, I believe my ancestors are lifting me up and providing strength as I continue my garden writing journey. The awareness I have of their presence is so real.  

As new plants begin to unfurl, I am certain that more memories of my ancestors will offer more unexpected garden magic throughout the year.

Do you have memories of your ancestors when in the garden? There is magic in every garden…but you must be present to feel it, accept it, and allow it to bring you joy.

I am going to be sitting here waiting for the next memorable moment of magic with my kinfolk in my garden.

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A Floral Love Story – All About Flowers

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A floral love story can be demonstrated even from the tip of a pen. Thomas J. Mickey shares a love story about a man, his passion for gardening, and how it changed horticulture along the way.

All About Flowers James Vick’s Nineteenth-Century Seed Company by Thomas J. Mickey should be considered a floral love story. This book shares the story of the man, his passion, and how he sowed seeds to build his community.

Victorian Flowers of all types have played a role in my garden life. My Dad admired them and well…the blossom does not fall too far from the stem. They evoke emotion and are just timelessly beautiful. From tulips, carnations, roses, and more, Victorian flowers have been a part of our lives for quite some time. With beginnings as an aficionado of the written word, James Vick, a writer, used that experience and created a career in horticulture. In today’s world, James Vick would be considered a Master Marketer. Known for his publications, such as Vick’s Floral Guide, you could say he was one of the first Horticultural Influencers. I would say he was a man before his time. This man has a story and the world needs to be made aware that many times, heroes do not wear capes, they embrace horticulture.

In my opinion, this book is a beautiful floral love story. I love finding out about people who are like everyday seeds found in our gardens. When we get to know them, they germinate into specialty seedlings in our living landscapes.  The author, Thomas J. Mickey, literally helps the reader get to know Mr. Vick. The journey takes us to 1856, where Mr. Vick published his own magazine until 1878 – Vick’s Illustrated Monthly and beyond. As most garden writers know, there are always words to express our joy of seeds, buds, flowers, and more. I sincerely wish I had known Mr. Vick to hear about his love story in person.

At one point, Mr. Vick had more than one housand tulip bulbs blooming in his home garden. Can you imagine that display? At the time, his seed company was being operated out of his home. So many people wandered by to observe what was blooming in the garden, it created a local distraction in the best way possible. Mr. Vick had to move the business to a warehouse nearby. He inspired so many people to garden, he disrupted his neighborhood.

This man was such a horticultural hero, one of his customers wrote a poem about twelve of their favorite annuals. Each of these plants was grown from seed purchased from Mr. Vick. Appreciating the love, James Vick made certain to feature the poem in his magazine. That is just one way he connected with the community. The community supported his efforts to beautify the home inside and out with the finest florals from around the world. Mr. Vick was not just writing about flowers, but collecting, sharing, and encouraging others to experience the world of horticulture.

For once, I really cannot say what my favorite part of this book was. In its entirety, All About Flowers has introduced me to a Horticultural Hero I wish I had known. I strongly encourage others to read this book. Getting to know the man, his ideology, and discovering his favorite flowers is like meeting someone very special.

From now on, when I consider which Victorian flower I will choose to grow, I will think of how James Vick influenced the world of gardening.

Thomas J. Mickey has truly shared a floral love story, celebrating the spirit of this Englishman, Mr. James Vick.

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